if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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