I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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