you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
