we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
