my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
