I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize