every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
