Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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