Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
