Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
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