She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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