her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
