Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
