I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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