Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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