i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
