for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
