Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
