im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
