I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
