it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
