Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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