hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
