There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
