and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
