I hate your face
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
