Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
