Do you still have your period?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
