so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
