Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
