Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
