apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize