HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
