doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
