wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
