At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize