Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
