Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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