ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I am one with the molecules
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize