whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize