hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
