she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
