I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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