Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
