The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
