I love black thongs
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
