Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
