You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize