I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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