What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
