You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Randomize
