she was so not down for the gang bang
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
