some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
