Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
