brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
