I just pynch a tree in the face
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
