He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
try to milk me bitch
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
