They should really pass out barf bags in church
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
