i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
