I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
