a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
