im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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