Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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