I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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